Lonely, lonely, lonely

Giftwrapping zine from Finders Keepers, favourite lilac nail polish, Sushi Bay card (after months, me and Nick have finally reached $30.56 of credit!)

Just a quick post to share that I'll be going on camp from Wednesday to Friday! Pretty exciting - this is the last high school camp most of my peers will be going on, just the lucky few, myself included, who have PE camp a couple weeks after that! To be honest I haven't bothered to make a note exactly where we're going.. from what I've heard though, the weather forecast isn't looking too good. But apparently on camp, we'll have heaps of free time to hang around, and since my whole group of 17 has managed to score ourselves a 'cabin' to ourselves, things are looking pretty exciting! :D

Another thing that has been on my mind lately, is how people change. We grow up, grow out of things, grow into things. We'll have a first time for everything, and a last time for everything. We'll give things up, whether we want to or not. We have our bad days, bad weeks, bad months, but it's our decision which direction we decide to go from there, and what we'll make of things.

When I was in primary school, I used to go to every school swimming, cross country and athletics carnival, then proceed to zone for all carnivals, and continue to regionals for at least one, every year. Since high school, though, it hasn't been like that. In my first year of high school, I stopped going to zone swimming carnivals because I never went to finals night, so never made it. I still went to zone cross country and athletics, then regional athletics. Two years after that, I skipped swimming carnival altogether. Last year, I didn't go to zone cross country because I was sick. And tomorrow is our school athletics carnival.. which I've decided not to go to. Over the years, I've definitely seen a decline in my enthusiasm and participation in these things, but I always went, always made it to zone for at least something, then gone off to regionals as well. It's not that I'm really athletic, because I'm not. The only exercise I ever do is run around 35 metres to the bus stop in the mornings, and occasionally a few minutes of oblique and ab exercises a week. This year will be my first year that I haven't made it to regionals in anything (assuming that I don't make it for cross country, which is highly likely) since I was in year 3, 2003. I guess some things, even though I didn't really put effort into them but still managed to hold onto, actually meant more to me than I thought they did. Lately I've been disappointed by myself in so many ways. For the first time, I've gotten below 50% in an assessment; been watching what I eat at what time; cried in public; only just scraped a spot into the Zone cross country team; felt like I failed ALL of my exams, even though I studied.

Sorry for such a sappy, shitty post - I normally wouldn't be this homo on my blog. Hopefully camp is the best - time to forget about everything!

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