your dreams

Dear dreams,

I think the topic of this letter could be interpreted differently to different people. Does it mean your dreams, like the ones you have when you sleep? Or dreams as in what you want to be, your goals, your wants? I totally have no idea. But since I don't remember the dreams I have while I sleep, I guess I'll just do it like how Eugene did and address the letter to the things I wish could come true.

Maybe this will be more of a heart to heart kinda post, something more deep and meaningful (i.e. DNM). To be honest, I don't think I've told anyone this before, ever. It's not like a secret or anything but it's just a bit weird to say that almost every single night for the past 4, 5 or possibly 6 years, I've taken time out of my night to think about all the things I really want, all the things I would change if I could change anything I wanted. That sounds a bit fucked up like that. Hm, I guess I'm just trying to say that every night for the past couple of years, I've been wishing for things to happen. What I wish for changes over time (like things that are happening recently in my life) but some things have stayed the same since the beginning. I don't really know if I expect these things to come true, ever .. But if they don't then I guess I'll maybe feel a bit disappointed. So maybe I do believe they'll come true one day. I'm not sure if anyone's out there listening to me, though.

I don't think people would really guess/know what I wish for unless they asked me. That doesn't mean that I have fucked up dreams and shit. I don't think people would think I think about these things every night. Some nights, I don't even think about it -- the voice in my mind runs on its own and no emotion is put into it. That sounds weird. Thinking about my dreams and shit like this, though .. It kinda makes me feel bad, realising that I don't really put any effort into it sometimes. These are the things I want, well, some of the things I would do anything for .. And I'm losing motivation and determination and perseverance and everything? I need to think about what I'm doing.

Please come true.


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